Lost,

If I knew how I felt, I wouldn't mind telling you anything. The only problem is, I don't know how I feel, so I can't tell you how I feel. Maybe another break is all I need, but I don't want another break, because it will only make it worse for us. I love you, I just don't really know how I feel about anything at the momment. One minute, I'm crazy in love with you, and the next..it's like I don't wanna be with you.. Maybe it's just me, being so crazy in love with you, when we first started out, and now I'm just like up and down, up and down.. Maybe that's what caused this whole mess I'm facing all by myself, but you want to help. I'm not letting you help, because I dont want you do be miserable, just like I am. You deserve nothing, but happiness in your life. I'm trying to give you happiness, but my confusion has made me stop. Trust me, I really don't like being so confused about things like I am at the momment. It's my thoughts that can only stop this. I have to be stronger. As of right now, I'm nothing..but weak. You can break me into peices, because I love you so much. At any momment, we could break up and I could just immedeatley just start crying my eyes out. Who said, I wanted that to happen? I DON'T want that to happen, never. I want to be with you forever, but to face the facts, it's highly rare that we'll get past through highschool together if this keeps up..and if it gets worse, too. I want nothing, but smiles, laughs, jokes, I want memories with you. So, at least I could remember the happy times I had with you when we were together. I really think you deserve someone so much better than I am, it breaks my heart when I have to say that, but it's true. Just tell me one thing, do you really truely love me? I'm too confused and miserable.

edit;
Someone told me today, that love is just a feeling you feel. You really don't need it, but you want to have it. I don't mean to hurt you like I do sometimes, I don't do it on purpose, but relationships can't go on without letting the ohter person speak what's on thier minds, right? I think that's the thing that makes the relationship strong, is the talking. My mood's been shifting from one mood to the next, I need to be stable. I really, NEED to be stronger. I believe that you and I could make it. Could it happen?