Everything's going to be alright. I just know it.

Venting,

Have you ever had the urge to do something, but you know it's bad and you shouldn't be doing it? That's how exactly I feel at the moment. There's things that my heart is telling my head to do, but other things that my head is telling my heart to do, I don't know which one to listen to or if I should even to listen to either of them. So many things have been going on over the course of the last month, I've been dealing with the whole situation of moving to a new house. Living somewhere half your life, being so comfortable with your surroundings, then moving to a new place, getting comfortable with your surroundings finally, but then you move to a new place and you don't know anyone or where anything is. That isn't being comfortable, and I don't want to end up like that. Originally, my parents were going to let me finish my 1st semester at Fairfax, but then I just had so much other stress and other things to worry about to be going back and fourth from where I live now, to Fairfax everyday for 5 days a week. I think my parents made the right choice of transferring me sooner than later.. Sadly, things have happened since I've moved that I can't change, or that are still being talked about. One thing is, my situation with my "lover"<3. We were both so depressed that I was moving away from him, that now that it has happened, it's been no biggie. I have a feeling though, that when I start the new school next week, my emotions are going to start kicking in again. I seriously can't handle my emotions, how I feel right now. It's all slipping out of my control and slowly killing me deep inside, one moment after another.. Situations like these, I never know how to help myself...I feel so different, too many things are all happening at the same time, it can be sometimes too overwhelming... that's a way to put it.

LA sick.

Recently, my matters have been very stressful. I try my hardest to fight all of the problems away, but they just keep coming back in my life. The whole situation of my boyfriend dealing with me moving and being even further away from each other has literally gotten to the point of where I don't know what to do for the both of us. We have been together for 347 days (11 months and 12 days), and we've had other things than this in our way from seeing each other, but this has been the hardest for me to handle on my own. All these different news in one month, I can't take it. Moving homes, schools, what next?.. I hope out of all this comes positive..

So, 30 more days until my birthday, exactly a month away.
I wanted to go to disneyland for my birthday, but I'm not sure
if my parents will let me, but I've been bugging them about
it since I found out about getting in for free on your birthday thing last year.
So its like a 90 percent chance I can go to disneyland.
Hopefully who I wanted togo with can still go.. I hope..
OR ELSE MY BIRTHDAY WOULDNT BE THE SAME :/

Use somebody.

Lately, School's been the main priority in my life.. I just needed to start off the school year focused on Schoolwork, and not fooling around too much. I know, there's a time for playing around, and there's a time for being serious. Freshman year isn't the way I pictured it, but I'm pretty happy to be in High School now. Even though, I have to deal with a lot more stress in my life.
Volleyball 2-1. in our leauge.
As you probably were wondering, I'm still going strong with my Boyfriend.
I've realized so many things, because of other things going on to other people. I've realized that you can take love away from me and leave me Here alone, but the one thing you can never be able to take away from me is my dreams. and in my dreams i'm still in love with him and will be forever no matter what you say. no matter what you do, i still love him.

&then again.

There will always be you to look forward to in the mornings.

I miss...

I miss our ways, together forever..right?

these words,

mean a lot to me,




"i will not cheat on you i will be THE best boyfriend".